time. to. get. real.

{this post is coming straight from my heart & head - it is what is on my mind today}

{disclaimer:  there may derogatory statements and plenty of negativity in this post - i do not usually include this in my posts, but today is all about being real, not full of fluff}

*time. to. get. real.*

the tears won't stop flowing

it's like a river is exploding

i can't keep my thoughts away

they keep causing me disarray

i wish i could turn off my brain

i'm going to go insane

i'm in so much pain

and i can't stop the rain

when is enough, enough

time is up for the fluff

the pain won't wash away

can't wait for a better day

when will i smile again

please lend me a helping hand

everyone is so full of hate

i guess you can't change your own fate

what do you do when no one cares about you

what do you do when no one notices how much you do

i'm getting so sick of this

i need to make a wish

i want to disappear

get as far as i can away from here

start a brand new life

without all the stress and the strife

i'm ready to end it all

the chips are about to fall

i need the tables to turn

when will i ever learn

i have to make my own way

there will be a brighter day

time to do my own thing

i'm going dancing in this rain

{if you actually read through all of that, thank you for taking the time to listen to my rant - i appreciate all of my readers and followers, and i will get back to posting as usual as soon as i can}

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

So, I found this link up on Elizabeth's blog and decided to join in.

Here is my very first "What I'm Loving Wednesday" post.

I'm loving college and learning about everything I will need to know to become a teacher.

I'm loving that I took my Praxis I Exam yesterday, and I passed the reading and mathematics portions with flying colors.

I'm loving the tv show, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and honestly, any show that has them in it.

I'm loving big, off-the-shoulder shirts and boyfriend pants.

I'm loving all these link ups, new followers, new blogs to read, and comments! :)

Happy Wednesday Everybody!

True Life: I'm a *General* Blogger!

I am Kayla, and I am a general blogger.

I was born and raised in North Carolina.  I am an army brat, born in Womack Army Hospital, in Fort Bragg, NC.  I am a Christian.  I love God, and I owe my life to the Lord.  If not for the blessings I have received from God, I would not be here today!

I am a country girl, through and through, but I also like to get dressed up and go out on the town.  I enjoy most outdoor activities, including camping, fishing, hunting, four-wheeling, mudding, hiking, and biking.

I love to take pictures, and most of the time, you will not catch me without my camera.  In my spare time, I enjoy blogging, reading, arts and crafts, scrapbooking, and puzzles (sudoko, kakuro, crosswords, word searches, and many others).  I love exercising now, *because I used to hate it* :), and I am *actively* trying to lose weight and become healthier!

 

I love to bake and cook.  I try to make healthy recipes for food that I love, that way I can still enjoy what I am eating without sabotaging my health and weight loss efforts.  I have always loved fruits and vegetables, so I try to incorporate these into every meal!

 

I am a full-time college student.  I just finished my Associate's Degree in Elementary Education in May of 2011, and I was able to walk in July.  After finishing my classes with my Associate's Degree, I immediately started my Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education.  I am excited to be at this point in my life, and I cannot wait until I will finish with my Bachelor's Degree and can start teaching on my own.

I hope you enjoy finding out about me, and I appreciate you stopping by.  Have a blessed day!

*Kayla*

*Some of my pictures and words have links with them.  If you click the links, it will take you to other blog posts containing more information about each individual topic*

My first day back :)

So, today was my first day back jogging/walking in almost a month, and it felt great!  I am so stoked that it was not horrible feeling, and I am ecstatic that I hardly felt any pain whatsoever.  I had a couple of tinges in my right ankle, but it does not hurt or throb, and it is not swollen.

And, on top of walking/jogging this morning, I took Cazzie to the park this afternoon, and I played on the slides and play set with her.  So, I got a little more exercise in by running around with her.  And, I at least plan to go running again tomorrow morning, and hopefully, I can convince her to go to the park again tomorrow.

*Isn't that bad when you have to talk your 9 year old niece into going to the park?* :)

Thankful Tuesday!

I missed out on the post last week, but that is okay.  I am always thankful and gracious for the blessings that I receive from our LORD and SAVIOR!

*I am thankful for the rain and the storms b/c they remind me how powerful our LORD is!

*I am thankful that I received confirmation that all is good with my Associate's Degree application, it has been processed, and I will have my degree in hand in a couple of weeks!

*I am thankful for the weight and inches that I have lost, and for the knowledge, strength, endurance, and health benefits that I have gained through this new journey in my life.

Expectations & Realizations (part 1)

So, you want to lose weight?  Yes, of course, would be the response of most of the individuals that I know.  I, too, want to lose weight, and over the past 8 weeks, I have lost several pounds and inches, and I have learned a lot.  I have had many expectations, both in the past and now, with my eating, exercise, and weight loss.  I have also had many realizations from what I used to do, to what I do now, and what I have learned through it all.

Many of the expectations I used to have about weight loss, working out, and eating have gone out the window.  I have completely changed the way I think, act, and live, which has helped me tremendously on my journey to becoming a better, healthier person.  In turn, I am recognizing that many things I used to think were bad, are not (but, some still are), and I am arming myself with the knowledge to create a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle for myself, and hopefully, for others as well.

Expectation #1: I am going to lose weight quickly (over night, in a week, or in a month).
How many times have you jumped straight ahead, full force into a new diet plan or weight loss regimen?  Too many to count, right?  Well, that used to be how I was.  I used to think that the fat would just "melt" right off of me (as you so often hear in commercials about weight loss pills, equipment, or videos).  But, then, a few days, weeks, or months into this new program, I would give up because I was not seeing results.  Has this ever happened to you?

Realization #1:  Weight loss takes time and effort, and results are not seen immediately.
Results will not be seen overnight.  As a matter of fact, depending on your size and how much weight you want to lose, you may not see results within the first month or even a couple of months.  But, trust me, if you are eating right and exercising, the results are there.  Many times you will feel the results more than you will see them.  You will feel stronger, healthier, and happier for sticking with it and changing your life.

Expectation #2:  I need to eat a low-carb (or fat, or sugar) diet to lose weight.
How often have you jumped on the newest fad diet, such as the low-carb diet, the low-fat diet, or the high-protein diet?  How often has this worked for you?  Not very often, huh?  This is because when we restrict ourselves too much, we will want everything that we are not eating, therefore failing with our diet plan because we are eating foods that are considered restricted with the plan we are on.

Realization #2:  I can eat carbs, fats, and sugars.  I just have to eat them in moderation and eat the right kinds.
Carbs and fats can be good for you, if you are eating the right kinds.  Complex carbs fill you up and turn into energy to help you maintain daily bodily functions, while most simple carbs turn into sugar, which in turn causes you to gain fat and weight.  Complex carbs are brown rice, wheat bread, and vegetables.  Some simple carbs that can help you lose weight because they help you fill full are fruits and dairy products.  To read more about why carbs are good for you, check out this article.

Expectaion #3:  This is going to be easy b/c I know what I need to do and how to do it.
So, you think it is going to be easy in the beginning.  But, as you progress through your diet plan or weight loss program, you start to lose motivation and struggle while working out.  You really want to give up, at this point, but you shouldn't.  Everyone goes through struggles and wants to give up at one point or another, even me.  To read about some of my struggles, check out this blog post.

Realization #3:  Changing your life for the better may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
So, you had some struggles, you ate something you shouldn't have, or you skipped your workout today.  This means you should just give up, right?  Absolutely not.  Just because you slip up, don't quit.  You have to motivate yourself and push through the slip ups and mistakes.  Never give up.  Read this blog post to learn more about slip ups & staying motivated.

*So that this blog post does not get too long, I am breaking it down into more than one post (note the title), and I will continue to post my (our) expectations & realizations about weight loss, dieting, and exercise.*

My struggle through relationships and love!

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to get married, settle down in my own home, and have children.  This was my dream as a little girl, and as I got older, it did not change, like others' dreams did.  I still want to find my soulmate, buy a house, and have the perfect little family.  Although, I know perfect is not possible, I believe with all my heart that the rest is.

I thought that by the time I was in my early 20's, I would be married, and already have at least one child.  Well, that has not happened so far.  I am 24, and I am not even in a relationship right now.  Sometimes I think, where did I go wrong?  What did I do to mess up my future and dream?

I have had many relationships, some long, some short.  My most recent relationship was almost 4.5 years long, and we lived together for the first 3.5 years.  It was never perfect, but I thought that we would be together forever, at first.  Then, it got crazy between us, and we were headed in completely different directions.  I wanted to settle down, and he, well he wanted other things.  Again, I wondered why this was happening, and what I had done wrong (even though I broke off our relationship)?

But, then I think about it, and I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life, right now.  I realize that my plan was not God's plan, and His plan is always the best plan for our lives.

After I broke up with my most recent boyfriend, I went back to college.  If I had not been single, I would not have been able to complete what I did through school because of the relationship.  In addition, I would not be as close to God as I am now, if I were still in a relationship.

I have learned so much through the past year of being single.  I now know that I can accomplish anything, as long as it is God's will, and I have Him on my side.  I know that I do not need a guy in my life for me to be happy and loved.  I know that I am a strong, independent woman, and I have learned to trust in God, ALWAYS, no matter what is happening in my life at the time.

I have been through struggles, I have had my ups and downs, but I now have faith in God, and I am happy where I am at the moment.  Although, I am still praying for my soulmate, but I am waiting on God's time, not mine!

Thankful Tuesday!

It's back!  I cannot believe it has been a week, it has gone by so fast.  I am super excited, though, to list more blessings that I have to be thankful for.  The Lord is always there for me, even when I am not there for myself.  So, I am still thankful for all the things that were listed in my last Thankful Tuesday post, which can be found here.  In addition to these blessings, I have many more this week, including:

* I have now lost a total of 12.4 lbs.  Thank you, Lord! (To read about my recent weight loss, click here.)

* I live in a country where I am free to be me, free to serve and worship the Lord, and free to go to church, say pretty much what I want, and free to live.

* I have recently finished (on Sunday) my last two classes for my Associate's Degree in Elementary Education.  I am just waiting on my final grades, so that I can apply for my degree.

These three items are the main blessings I am thankful for today, but there are many, many more, and I will probably update this post to include those as the day goes on!

Thank you Lord for all your blessings, even those I do not recognize at first!

Week 7 Calorie Deficit & Exercise Journals!

So, I do not think I did too bad this past week, especially since I was not tracking everything on a daily basis.  I did write it all down, though, and I entered it into my spreadsheets yesterday.  I did stay below 2,000 calories everyday, but there were a couple of days that I was over my 1,800 calorie goal that I wanted to meet.  Not too shabby!  And, to top it all off, I have lost a total of 12.4 pounds.  I thought that I was going to be stuck at 188 forever, because normally I lose 10 lbs, then I give up or quit because I usually hit a plateau.  Well, not this time!  I pushed right on through, and proved to myself and others, that this time, it is not just a diet or weight loss plan to me, it is my life, and I am determined to become happier, healthier, stronger, and more full of energy!

National Day of Prayer 2011

Today, May 5th, is the National Day of Prayer.  It always occurs on the first Thursday in May, which happens to be Cinco de Mayo.  I thought about today and how so many people will be celebrating by going to bars and drinking, even if they are not of Hispanic origin or from Mexico.  Well, I just found out that today is National Day of Prayer, and this is a much better way to celebrate today.

The link to the website is under National Day of Prayer.  Through this website, you can learn the history behind the day, the mission, and how you can get involved.

Today, I will be praying for many items, including the nation, the government, the current education system, and many other personal requests that I know about.  Please join me today & PRAY!

Easter Sunday! - Christ is risen from the dead!

Easter is of course about Jesus Christ rising from the grave, after dying to pay for our sins!  Well, Easter, to me, is also about family, friends, and love.  Since we spent Saturday with the girls, we went on and gave them their Easter baskets, filled with simple pleasures!

Cazzie & Shayna's Baskets

Stormi's Easter Basket

Momma & I after Easter services & lunch :)

Just me <3

"I will reap what I sow"

So I have chosen a word for the year 2011, to guide me to becoming a better person, and it is "COMPASSION."  I want to have compassion as Jesus did, and I want to help others that are in need.  I want to give my heart and soul to the Lord and know that He will provide for me.  I want to not worry about me anymore, know that I am taken care of by the Lord, and help others without thoughts that it will hurt me.

Proverbs 19:17
"He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again."

*I know that as long as I am doing the Lord's will, He will take care of me financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally.*

2 Corinthians 9:6
"But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully."

*I know that if I have compassion in my heart and use it for the Lord's will, he will return all that I have used to me.*

This leads me to my phrase for the year, "I will reap what I sow."  I can use this phrase in every aspect of my life.  If I workout, I will lose weight and tone up.  If I work, I will be paid.  If I give unto the Lord, he will give me everything back.  I know that through the Lord all things are possible, and I have faith that this will be my year for success in every area of my life.

All about me

This post is my first, so I figured I would start with who I am, including random details about my life and journey.

I live in North Carolina, in a very small town.  I am a student, attending the University of Phoenix online.  I am pursuing my Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education.  I will receive my Associates in May, then continue my schooling so that I can reach my dreams and goals of becoming a teacher and helping children learn and grow as individuals.

I am a Christian, and without God, I know I would not be where I am today.  The Lord has truly blessed me in all aspects of my life, and He shows me that when trouble comes, he can help me through it all.  I just need to have faith and remember that no matter how big the storm may be, God is always bigger and better.

One thing that is also bigger in my life is me.  I am at my heaviest weight that I have ever been, which is 196.4 lbs.  My body fat is 42.8%, and my BMI is 32.3.  In addition, my other measurements are:
Waist:  43.5 inches
Thighs:  25 inches
Butt:  45 inches
Chest:  41 inches
Hips:  43.5 inches
At my weight and body fat percentage, I have 84.1 lbs of body fat.  This is almost half of my total weight.

My goals include losing around 63.4 lbs, which would put me at a healthy weight of 133 lbs.  This would also put my body fat around 22%, which is also very healthy.  I have started exercising, which is one of my New Year's Revolutions, and eating healthier.  Also included in my goals for this year are to decrease the amount of debt I have, go to church more often, read the Bible more, and learn to crave GOD instead unhealthy foods and cigarettes.  Yes, I am a smoker, but I am trying to stop.

My intentions behind this blog are to make my information public.  I know that when others know your goals and dreams, it is harder for you to give up on them, especially if you are held accountable by others.  So, this is who I am, and who I want to become.  I want to be happy, healthy, and live everyday to the fullest.  I know that I can reach my dreams, as long as I continue to push forward, stay determined, and stay motivated.