My struggle through relationships and love!

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to get married, settle down in my own home, and have children.  This was my dream as a little girl, and as I got older, it did not change, like others' dreams did.  I still want to find my soulmate, buy a house, and have the perfect little family.  Although, I know perfect is not possible, I believe with all my heart that the rest is.

I thought that by the time I was in my early 20's, I would be married, and already have at least one child.  Well, that has not happened so far.  I am 24, and I am not even in a relationship right now.  Sometimes I think, where did I go wrong?  What did I do to mess up my future and dream?

I have had many relationships, some long, some short.  My most recent relationship was almost 4.5 years long, and we lived together for the first 3.5 years.  It was never perfect, but I thought that we would be together forever, at first.  Then, it got crazy between us, and we were headed in completely different directions.  I wanted to settle down, and he, well he wanted other things.  Again, I wondered why this was happening, and what I had done wrong (even though I broke off our relationship)?

But, then I think about it, and I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life, right now.  I realize that my plan was not God's plan, and His plan is always the best plan for our lives.

After I broke up with my most recent boyfriend, I went back to college.  If I had not been single, I would not have been able to complete what I did through school because of the relationship.  In addition, I would not be as close to God as I am now, if I were still in a relationship.

I have learned so much through the past year of being single.  I now know that I can accomplish anything, as long as it is God's will, and I have Him on my side.  I know that I do not need a guy in my life for me to be happy and loved.  I know that I am a strong, independent woman, and I have learned to trust in God, ALWAYS, no matter what is happening in my life at the time.

I have been through struggles, I have had my ups and downs, but I now have faith in God, and I am happy where I am at the moment.  Although, I am still praying for my soulmate, but I am waiting on God's time, not mine!

Thankful Tuesday!

It's back!  I cannot believe it has been a week, it has gone by so fast.  I am super excited, though, to list more blessings that I have to be thankful for.  The Lord is always there for me, even when I am not there for myself.  So, I am still thankful for all the things that were listed in my last Thankful Tuesday post, which can be found here.  In addition to these blessings, I have many more this week, including:

* I have now lost a total of 12.4 lbs.  Thank you, Lord! (To read about my recent weight loss, click here.)

* I live in a country where I am free to be me, free to serve and worship the Lord, and free to go to church, say pretty much what I want, and free to live.

* I have recently finished (on Sunday) my last two classes for my Associate's Degree in Elementary Education.  I am just waiting on my final grades, so that I can apply for my degree.

These three items are the main blessings I am thankful for today, but there are many, many more, and I will probably update this post to include those as the day goes on!

Thank you Lord for all your blessings, even those I do not recognize at first!

National Day of Prayer 2011

Today, May 5th, is the National Day of Prayer.  It always occurs on the first Thursday in May, which happens to be Cinco de Mayo.  I thought about today and how so many people will be celebrating by going to bars and drinking, even if they are not of Hispanic origin or from Mexico.  Well, I just found out that today is National Day of Prayer, and this is a much better way to celebrate today.

The link to the website is under National Day of Prayer.  Through this website, you can learn the history behind the day, the mission, and how you can get involved.

Today, I will be praying for many items, including the nation, the government, the current education system, and many other personal requests that I know about.  Please join me today & PRAY!

Thankful Tuesday!

So, I was reading my cousins' blogs, which can be found under Pink Pixie and By His Grace, and they turned me onto Thankful Tuesdays!  I just cannot resist the opportunity to praise and thank our LORD for all HE has done for me!

I am so thankful for all my blessings, and I try to thank the Lord each and every day for all I have and even for the things I do not have.

So, for this week, I am extremely thankful for:

*My family and friends - They are the greatest and the support that I receive from them is amazing.

*I have lost 10 lbs, which without God, would not have been possible, because I do not have the strength to do it on my own.

*I have food, clothes, a roof over my head, and a warm or cool (whichever I prefer) bed to sleep in.

*I am a full-time student, and I am about to finish my last two classes (on Sunday) for my Associate's Degree in Elementary Education!

*I attend an awesome church, with a terrific Pastor, who understands that we are all sinners, he does not judge, and he always tries to make you laugh.

Well, I could go on and on about how much I am blessed by the Lord, but I will leave this post as is for now!  Believe me, next week, I will have much more to post as my blessings, that I do not deserve, but the Lord loves me anyway!

Easter Sunday! - Christ is risen from the dead!

Easter is of course about Jesus Christ rising from the grave, after dying to pay for our sins!  Well, Easter, to me, is also about family, friends, and love.  Since we spent Saturday with the girls, we went on and gave them their Easter baskets, filled with simple pleasures!

Cazzie & Shayna's Baskets

Stormi's Easter Basket

Momma & I after Easter services & lunch :)

Just me <3

"I will reap what I sow"

So I have chosen a word for the year 2011, to guide me to becoming a better person, and it is "COMPASSION."  I want to have compassion as Jesus did, and I want to help others that are in need.  I want to give my heart and soul to the Lord and know that He will provide for me.  I want to not worry about me anymore, know that I am taken care of by the Lord, and help others without thoughts that it will hurt me.

Proverbs 19:17
"He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again."

*I know that as long as I am doing the Lord's will, He will take care of me financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally.*

2 Corinthians 9:6
"But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully."

*I know that if I have compassion in my heart and use it for the Lord's will, he will return all that I have used to me.*

This leads me to my phrase for the year, "I will reap what I sow."  I can use this phrase in every aspect of my life.  If I workout, I will lose weight and tone up.  If I work, I will be paid.  If I give unto the Lord, he will give me everything back.  I know that through the Lord all things are possible, and I have faith that this will be my year for success in every area of my life.

All about me

This post is my first, so I figured I would start with who I am, including random details about my life and journey.

I live in North Carolina, in a very small town.  I am a student, attending the University of Phoenix online.  I am pursuing my Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education.  I will receive my Associates in May, then continue my schooling so that I can reach my dreams and goals of becoming a teacher and helping children learn and grow as individuals.

I am a Christian, and without God, I know I would not be where I am today.  The Lord has truly blessed me in all aspects of my life, and He shows me that when trouble comes, he can help me through it all.  I just need to have faith and remember that no matter how big the storm may be, God is always bigger and better.

One thing that is also bigger in my life is me.  I am at my heaviest weight that I have ever been, which is 196.4 lbs.  My body fat is 42.8%, and my BMI is 32.3.  In addition, my other measurements are:
Waist:  43.5 inches
Thighs:  25 inches
Butt:  45 inches
Chest:  41 inches
Hips:  43.5 inches
At my weight and body fat percentage, I have 84.1 lbs of body fat.  This is almost half of my total weight.

My goals include losing around 63.4 lbs, which would put me at a healthy weight of 133 lbs.  This would also put my body fat around 22%, which is also very healthy.  I have started exercising, which is one of my New Year's Revolutions, and eating healthier.  Also included in my goals for this year are to decrease the amount of debt I have, go to church more often, read the Bible more, and learn to crave GOD instead unhealthy foods and cigarettes.  Yes, I am a smoker, but I am trying to stop.

My intentions behind this blog are to make my information public.  I know that when others know your goals and dreams, it is harder for you to give up on them, especially if you are held accountable by others.  So, this is who I am, and who I want to become.  I want to be happy, healthy, and live everyday to the fullest.  I know that I can reach my dreams, as long as I continue to push forward, stay determined, and stay motivated.