Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to get married, settle down in my own home, and have children. This was my dream as a little girl, and as I got older, it did not change, like others' dreams did. I still want to find my soulmate, buy a house, and have the perfect little family. Although, I know perfect is not possible, I believe with all my heart that the rest is.
I thought that by the time I was in my early 20's, I would be married, and already have at least one child. Well, that has not happened so far. I am 24, and I am not even in a relationship right now. Sometimes I think, where did I go wrong? What did I do to mess up my future and dream?
I have had many relationships, some long, some short. My most recent relationship was almost 4.5 years long, and we lived together for the first 3.5 years. It was never perfect, but I thought that we would be together forever, at first. Then, it got crazy between us, and we were headed in completely different directions. I wanted to settle down, and he, well he wanted other things. Again, I wondered why this was happening, and what I had done wrong (even though I broke off our relationship)?
But, then I think about it, and I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life, right now. I realize that my plan was not God's plan, and His plan is always the best plan for our lives.
After I broke up with my most recent boyfriend, I went back to college. If I had not been single, I would not have been able to complete what I did through school because of the relationship. In addition, I would not be as close to God as I am now, if I were still in a relationship.
I have learned so much through the past year of being single. I now know that I can accomplish anything, as long as it is God's will, and I have Him on my side. I know that I do not need a guy in my life for me to be happy and loved. I know that I am a strong, independent woman, and I have learned to trust in God, ALWAYS, no matter what is happening in my life at the time.
I have been through struggles, I have had my ups and downs, but I now have faith in God, and I am happy where I am at the moment. Although, I am still praying for my soulmate, but I am waiting on God's time, not mine!